Hey Mum,
It’s me, your daughter. I know that you’re having a grand time with our first Love in our eternal Home, but I just want to write you this letter. Well, I’m doing this post for myself mostly, it’s my way of coping I guess. And I know that you probably won’t be able to read this (although sometimes I find myself asking God if maybe just maybe He could just send you a message from me, haha), so whatever. I mean, I don’t know how Heaven works. I know it’s really wonderful, but who knows how Heaven works right?
So the month of December has been really tough for me. First, because it’s my birthday, so that means another year of getting older without you. Second, it’s your birthday, so that means celebrating your birth without you. Third is because it’s Christmas.
I know we went through this last year. Last year was our first December without you. Everything was so surreal. I mean, everything is still really surreal for me. So what’s the deal with this year right? That’s because this is our second December without you. Our second, which means that it has already happened, and this is “just” another year without you...
It’s tough mum. I miss you so much.
I sometimes find myself imagining how awesome it would be if God granted each of us just one day once a year to be with our deceased loved ones as a birthday gift, even just one hour once a year would be the best birthday gift I can possibly imagine...
But then that would probably mess some things up. I mean there’s always a reason why God does and does not do things.
Anyway... I’m turning 22, and you’re turning 59 this year. I know you were never really ashamed of telling people how old you are, you’ve always really looked younger anyway. And I know age doesn’t matter in Heaven anymore, but in the mean time, while I’m still here with my limited earthly undertstanding... Pag bigyan mo na ko, haha.
Love your little rosebud,
Jessum
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